The Marauders Pass Notes
by ComplicatedPotter
Summary: 'You know, less bookworm more idiot'. The awfully ridiculous Marauders fool around in an slightly less ridiculous setting. Well, as 'slightly less ridiculous' as magic can be! From questioning Sirius' sexuality to listening (or watching) to James prattle on about the love of his life, the sweet Lily Evans, the professors should definitely fear, for the Marauders are here!
1. Siriusly Girly

**Passing Notes**

 **Sirius Black**

 ** _Remus Lupin_**

James Potter

 _Peter Pettigrew_

 **Mr Padfoot is very bored.**

Mr Prongs is certainly astonished that Mr Padfoot had shared his feelings.

 _Mr Wormtail is just as astonished._

 ** _Mr Moony would just like to add that unfortunately, as Mr Padfoot does have that of similar characteristics of a girl, there is no need for Mr Prongs to feel astonished at all._**

Mr Prongs, after reading this rather lengthy comment from Mr Moony, is obliged to think that Mr Moony is correct in saying that Mr Padfoot is rather like a girl. An emotional one too.

 **Mr Padfoot is upset and very offended that his supposedly best friend is accusing him of being girly.**

Mr Prongs now is even more convinced Mr Padfoot is girly, as he has just caught Mr Padfoot being emotional.

 **Curses…. Foiled again**

Ah well. Bad luck Padfoot. Anyway, I do agree with Padfoot; Divination is really boring. In fact, I think I have one of my brilliant ideas coming up…

 ** _Please don't tell it's going to be like your other brilliant ideas, because I really don't fancy sorting out Flobberworms with Professor Slughorn_** ** _._**

Don't worry Mr Moony. It won't. All I need is some paint, a page of Snivellus' homework and a lot of clever char m work.

 **I have a feeling this idea is going to turn out to be brilliant after all.**


	2. The Deadly L Disease

Did you see Snivellus' greasy face when he saw the message on the wall of the Transfiguration corridor? Priceless!

 **'Snape personally thinks Professor Flitwick is a barmy twit'. I'm so proud of you, Mr Prongs, you have finally thought a intelligent thought.**

Is Mr Padfoot implying that Mr Prongs is unintelligent?

 **No.**

You wrote that really quickly and your lips were twitching as you were writing. You're even horrible at lying to your friends on parchment, Mr Padfoot.

 **You're quite brainy, I assure you. C'mon Moony back me up on this, you always tell the truth.**

 ** _You are very intellectual, Prongs, no doubt. You're just not exactly a…philosophical thinker, that's all._**

Thank you Mr Moony.

 _Detention for the rest of the month for Snivellus! I'm so happy I could sing._

 **Don't, Wormtail. You sing awfully even on paper, let alone in real life. Your charmwork was amazing, Moony, it looked just like Snivellus' handwriting.**

 ** _Snape certainly deserved what he got, but I seem to be feeling a rather strange feeling._**

 **Puberty? Don't worry you'll get over it.**

 ** _Ew. What's wrong with you Padfoot? No, I meant guilt you prat._**

 **Oh. Don't worry, you'll get over it too. Just like your puberty.**

 ** _Shut up Padfoot, you git._**

 _Such foul language for a prefect!_

 **Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?**

 ** _Sheesh, you're lucky I didn't report your idiotic prank._**

 ** Our _brilliant_ amusing feat, you mean, isn't that right, Prongs?** **Prongs?**

 **_Prongs?_**

 _Prongs?_

 ** _What's wrong with Prongs? Prongs never misses a chance to poke fun at us._ _Why is he staring at Lily?_**

 _And smiling dreamily?_

 **Have you guys even noticed Prongs does that every time Evans even _enters_ the same room as us? And you call yourselves his friends.**

 ** _So this is helping us figure out the reason behind Prongs' mysterious act how?_**

 **And you're supposed to be the brains of the Marauders. Isn't it obvious?**

 ** _What's obvious?_**

 **Our Prongs is suffering from the deadly L-disease.**

 ** _Laryngitis? Are you serious? I don't know, it usually affects the throat, not the brain._**

 **LOVE! The answer is love, dope! And for your information, I am Sirius, and funnily enough, I figured that out for myself, thank you very much.**

 ** _Haha, very amusing Padfoot. I'm shocked though, I was always under the impression that Prongs hated Lily. You know, because he's always teasing her and stuff._**

 **Now who's sharing their feelings now, huh?**

 ** _It took you one whole lesson just to come up with that comeback line? It's pathetic, in fact worse than Wormtail's usual._**

 _Hey!_

 **Whatever, anyway I know just what to do to bring him back from Lilyland.**

 ** _Go for it Padfoot._**

 **LILY EVANS LIKES YOU, PRONGS!**

She does? I mean what, Padfoot? I was busy taking notes.

 **Was that before or after the studious Mr Prongs was gawping at Evans?**

I don't know what you mean.

 **Mr Prongs has a lot of explaining to do to Mr Padfoot.**

 ** _And to Mr Moony._**

 _AND to Mr Wormtail_

Fine. So Mr Prongs has the teeniest tiniest crush on the lovely Lily Evans, so what?

 _ **Prongs. You were staring at her dreamily from the beginning of class. Mr Moony thinks it's more than a teeny tiny crush**._

 **And your thoughtful bestest kindest mate wants to know why.**

Stop trying to butter me up. It won't work.

 **Curses.**

I think she might fancy me too.

 **I don't mean to break your heart, pal, but she still calls you Potter. How can she fancy you when she hates you?**

You lie. What do you think, oh wisest of the Marauders, Moony?

 ** _I'm sure she feels a strong burning passion for you._**

Thank you. Mr Prongs respects your very wise decision.

 _ **I'm just not sure if it's a strong passion to love you or to kill you.  
**  
_

* * *

'Why are Mr Pettigrew and Mr Black laughing like maniacs and disrupting the class?' 'Sosorrry Mr Flflitwwick, it wwonn't hahappen again.' 'I certainly hope so, Mr Black, or I shall have to change your seating arrangement. What is this bit of parchment doing here?' 'Spare bit of parchment, sir.' 'Hmmm…' Mr Flitwick turned it around and suddenly his face turned grim. 'Detention for the four of you. Tomorrow, 4 pm.'


	3. Detention Notes

To Mr Severus Snape

I apologize for the unfounded accusation prior to the event that has happened recently. I have caught the troublemaker/s and have punished them severely. Please accept this box of chocolate frogs as an apology.

Wishing you a good day,

 _Professor Flitwick_

* * *

 _I must not write on walls_

 _I must not write on walls_

 _I must not write on walls_

 _I must not write on walls_

 _I must not-_

Mr Prongs thinks this detention is a waste of time.

 ** _Mr Moony would just like to say that we deserved the punishment_**

Mr Prongs is thinking of all the quality time Mr Prongs could be spending with Lily Evans.

 **Mr Padfoot would like to object, as the only quality time Mr Prongs spent with Lily Evans was when she punched his nose in answer to the question Mr Prongs foolishly asked.**

 _Mr Wormtail wants to enquire what was Mr Prongs' question was._

 **As it will embarrass Mr Prongs greatly, and he told me not to tell anyone, I think the right thing for Mr Padfoot to do is keep this unwritten.**

Mr Prongs thanks Mr Padfoot greatly for being a good person.

 **However, Mr Padfoot is not the type of person to do the right thing.**

I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS, YOU GREAT GIT!

 **Mr Prongs asked Evans if she had feelings for him. Romantic feelings.**

 _Blimey, no wonder Lily punched him on the nose!_

 ** _It was foolish of you Mr Prongs, as you already know what the answer is._**

Yes?

 ** _No!_**

 ***gasp* Mr Moony, the smart, quiet one of the group, a** ** _prefect_** **, was** ** _parchmentdropping_** **?**

 ** _Mr Padfoot knows very well that Mr Moony was not doing anything of the sort. It's just as much as Mr Moony's conversation as Mr Padfoot's._**

 **Hmmph.**

Mr Prongs thinks that we should talk instead of passing notes, as there are no teachers here to stop us from talking. But not to Padfoot.

 **Hmmph.**

 _Silence is worth a thousand galleons._

 ** _Wow, that was the smartest thing Mr Wormtail's ever said or written in your life, Wormtail._**

 _Actually, I read from that book of phrases you lent me, Moony. That was the only one I remembered and I thought it would come in handy. Especially if you hang around Padfoot and Prongs._

 **Hey!**

Well, I've been thinking, and I think I have it all planned out.

 ** _What planned out?_**

You know, the way to win Lily's heart.

 **Prongs, she punched you in the nose. I don't think you're even friends yet.**

AS I WAS SAYING, BEFORE MOONY INTERRUPTED ME, all I have to do is go up to the girls' dormitory and find Lily's bed. Then shake her awake and ask her to go out with me. She'll be so sleepy that she'll say yes, and most likely confess her true feelings for me that she's been trying to hide all this time. Most probably.

 ** _Remember the last time we tried to go into the girls' dormitory? I swear the bruise on my head hasn't completely healed yet…_**

Oh, right. Moony?

 ** _No. There's no reverse for the charm they put on the dormitory and I wouldn't do it even if there was._**

Curses. But why put the charm on it anyway? Did some crazed mass-murderer just decide to pop into the girls' dormitory to say hello or something?

 ** _Actually, it was because the founders agreed that boys were less trustworthy than girls and put a spell on it to prevent boys from getting in._**

Oh, I'm insulted! It's like they thought boys would try and sneak in somehow!

 ** _Which is what you're trying to do!_**

Well, yes. Also, how do you know this?

 ** _It's on page 137 of Hogwarts, A History._**

Gosh, Moony. Did you memorise the WHOLE textbook?

 ** _Yes, so what? It's important to know this kind of things, you know._**

 **Yeah, if you're a complete NERD.**

 ** _Oi!_**

Fine. Maybe sneaking in won't work but you know what will?

 _What?_

 **Planting a muggle recorder thingy in her hair?**

Actually I was going to say spike her pumpkin juice with Veritaserum but that could work too.

 **Or maybe we could do both! See what works better.**

Yeah, we make a good team! Parchment five!

(in a separate piece of parchment to Wormtail) **_I think Prongs has forgotten to never forgive Padfoot again._**

 _I agree._

(back to normal parchment) **_Actually, Padfoot, muggle technology doesn't work on Hogwarts grounds. Don't you remember from Muggle Studies?_**

 **Oh yeah. Remind me why I took the stinkin subject again?**

To annoy your brother, remember?

 **Right. Let's go with Prongs' plan then.**

 ** _Don't blame me if your plan goes wrong._**

Oh don't worry. We'll just blame Wormtail.

 _What?!_

 **Relax, we won't get caught. And just out of curiosity, how are you going to get Veritaserum?**

I already have some. Nicked it out of Slughorn's cabinet. Thought it'd come handy and it did. Or will be, anyway.

 _Cool! What else did you get._

Won't tell until I need it.

 **There's just one flaw. Lily's an expert on Potions. How are you going to put it in her drink and not have her notice, I don't know, the smell or something?**

It's colourless and odourless, so I doubt she would notice a thing.

 **Brilliant! Now how are we going to complete our lines in five minutes?**

Uh….

 ** _Don't worry. I did your lines for you. I already knew you guys won't copy down your lines._**

 **Thanks! Did I write nerd just now? I meant great, wise, amazing person.**

Yeah, Moony. You're amazing.

 ** _Don't depend on me always. I won't do it the next time you forget._**

Fine. Now back to the plan. Should I do it tonight?

 **Yeah, but not in the Great Hall. Maybe just ask her to have a word with you in the corridor after she drinks the Veritaserum.**

Good plan. Now who wants to see the map I've been developing?

 ** _Sure why not?_**

Ok. Here it is.

 ** _Prongs, it's just a blank piece of parchment._**

Just say 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good'.

 _Wow, this is amazing! What's it called?_

The Marauders Map. It shows everyone and thing in the castle, including secret passageways. If you want it to become blank just say 'Mischief Managed'.

 ** _This is incredible! So that why you've been staying back in the Charms classroom everyday._**

 **I hear footsteps! Quick, someone stuff this parchment into their pocket, I'll get the Marauders Map!**

No, _I'll_ get the Marauders Map as it's _my_ contraption.

 **Fine, just hurry!**

To Be Continued...


	4. Author Note

**Hi guys! This isn't a chapter. I just want to apologize for not uploading new chapters on this story. I'm just taking a break for a while before I come up with any other chapters. On the other hand, I wrote a new lily/james called Singing In The Shower. Go check it out!**

 **Love always,**

 **Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.**

 **Ps. The reason I haven't been writing is because I ran out of ideas. Can you give me some ideas? Any catchphrases you want me to use? :)**


	5. The World Is Ending

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this except the plot. And I'm pretty sure I got that from somewhere else too.

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Lily

 **Sirius Black**

 _ **Remus Lupin**_

 _Peter Pettigrew  
_

James Potter

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 **Well Prongs, I've been thinking.**

Hmph.

 _ **Wow, Padfoot, I'm amazed!**_

 **How do you know what my thought is? Unless you have a time-turner...**

 _ **No, I'm amazed that you're actually thinking! Now we've covered that we can move on to talking. You see, it's quite simple, just move your mout-**_

 **Sod off, you bloody werewolf.**

 _ **Don't say that! If anyone reads this parchment now they'll know about my...**_

 _Furry little problem?_

 ** _Exactly!_**

 **But anyone won't know because you haven't said your nam-**

 ** _And you know Severus'll do anything to get proof that I'm a werewolf._**

 **Great. Now if Snivellus ever gets hold of this paper he'll know you are a werewolf, you know.**

 _ **Fine, just make sure this piece of parchment, or any other of our notes for that matter, never gets even close to that little nosy prick.  
**_

 **But you know, Snivellus' nose is rather hooked and over-sized, so you will find that it'll be quite easy for the greasy slimeball to, how do muggles put it? Right, fish for clues. Not to mention our notes always gets missing whenever he so much as looks at them, so they might be in possession of them now. Poor notes.  
**

 _ **WHAT! I'M SURE YOU MEAN POOR ME! SEVERUS IS GOING TO LEAK THIS TO THE WHOLE SCHOOL! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO PACK MY BAGS AND LEAVE SCHOOL! I'M GOING TO BE DECAPITATED BY THE MINISTRY! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO RUN AWAY AND BECOME AN OUTCAST, JUST BECAUSE OF A HUNDRED OR SO NOTES BEING READ BY SEVERUS! NOOOOOOO.**_

 **I'm joking, I'm joking. I burn each note after we've finished with them, ok? The look on your face was priceless, though, Moony. I took a picture, do you wanna see?**

 _Ooh! Can I?  
_

 **Sure Wormtail. Just after the lesson; as much as I love detention, I do prefer hanging out with my friends a little more, you know.  
**

 _ **Don't think this isn't over, Padfoot.**_

 **Okay, moving on. Now, Prongs, I'm sure you weren't that embarrassed. I mean, sure, you did spill your heart out to the entire school and told them your utmost secrets but it could have been worse. At least you didn't tell them you like Evans...**

And you didn't do anything to help stop my ranting. In fact, you just made things worse, asking me things you know perfectly well will lead to nothing but embarrassment. You. Just. Made. Things. Worse.

 **Motto since 1959.**

 _ **Prongs, I have a brilliant idea.**_

Yeah?

 ** _Let's make every Wednesday Anti-Sirius Black Day._**

I like that idea. Only let's make it Sunday, cause it has a nice ring to it. Anti-Sirius Sundays. Plus Sunday is the day that Padfoot enjoys the most, so we can make it horrible for him.

 **Wait, hold on. First, you're going to try and plan to sabotage very good-looking and funny me and plan it while I'm listening?! Or reading, but that doesn't matter now. And secondly, you should think of changing the name. It sounds like you're plotting against pessimists or something. Really ugly pessimists. And finally, HOW COULD YOU! PLEASE DON'T RUIN MY SUNDAYS! I LOVE MY SUNDAYS! PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE WITH ICE-CREAM ON TOP WITH PLASTIC FIGURES OF STAGS AND WOLVES ON IT? OR MAYBE I'LL TELL THE WHOLE SCHOOL YOU LIKE HER! WORMTAIL, ANY HELP?**

In answer to those question and statements, no, we're just thinking of the name of the plan but we won't actually be as daft as to plan it in front of you, the only ugly pessimists we're plotting against is you and I suppose Snivellus and finally, you tried to convince us with the 3 B's : Begging, bribing and blackmailing all in one; and I won't care at all if you tell them I like Evans, because they already know.

 **Less like _like_ more like _lurve_.**

 _Oh yeah, sorry Padfoot but I'm going to have to agree with Prongs on this one._

 **NOOO. Is it go against Sirius Black day or something?  
**

 _ **Seems like it. Why?**_

 **Dunno, just asking.  
**

Oh look, Evans' looking at me.

 **Glaring, more like it. Oi Prongs!**

 _I can't believe it. She's gone 3 seconds without hexing him. It's a new record!_ **  
**

 **It's probably because we're in class, Wormtail. Wait, is she _smiling? At him? The world's going to end!_**

 ** _Ah, look. Prongs' talking to her now. Soon she's going to hex him, if I'm not mistaken.  
_**

 **Oooooh, she's opening her mouth. His hair's gonna turn purple any second now. Wait, did I just hear the word love? Merlin's beard, she must be Imperiused or something, to hear the word love coming out of her mouth. WAIT, IS SHE LEANING TOWARDS PRONGS?! AND SMILING AGAIN?! RATHER SARCASTICALLY THAT'S FOR SURE, BUT STILL! WORMTAIL, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?**

 _'Bout 3 minutes_

 _ **She's holding hands with him now. I thought I would never live to see this!**_

 **I think I'm going to be sick.**

 _I believe Moony and you owe me 17 galleons each?  
_

 **What! I demand a re-bet!**

The trip to Gringotts'll have to wait, I'm afraid.  


 **LILY?!**

Sorry guys. She did threaten to tell Professor Dumbledore we've been passing notes in class all the time if I didn't give her the special quills we use for passing the notes. And she can be rather persuasive sometimes. I mean all the time.

Oh shut up Potter. I see you idiots bet on us two. Very unfortunately for you guys, you will pay for that. Just wait till Divination ends. Oh yes, and can I have one more quill and a sheet of your magic note-passing parchment. You see, I want to give one to Sev so we too, can pass notes.

 **No way, Jose. Do you really think we're going to waste one of our quills on Snivellus?  
**

Don't call him that! But if you really want to be expelled...  


 **Alright, fine.**

 _Thank you. Oh yes and before I leave this idiotic conversation of yours', all I said was I'd love to. Not I love James.  
_

 **AHA! I knew you liked him!**

 _What?! I do not!_

 **Yes, but when I said you said love, you do you know I wasn't talking about you loving Voldemort or something,(which would be more surprising then you lurving Prongs, to be honest) huh? Huh? HUH? Oh ya, and you did say his first name instead of his last.**

 _This conversation is getting ridiculous. I will never, ever, ever, not in this universe nor in any other one, love Potter. No way.  
_

Ah, back to Potter we are, are we?

Oh, shut up.

 ** _Is she gone?_**

 **I think so, mate.**

Well, at least my hands got to brush against hers for a second. That's totally going on my 'Evans' signs of affection towards me' list.

 **Yeah, AND you beat your record for the longest conversation with Evans without you ending up in the hospital wing one way or another.**

 _ **And she even said, well wrote, your name down for the first time since First Year!**_

Another two things I can put on my 'Evans' signs of affection towards me' list. Bless my broomstick, this is the best day of my life!

 **Merlin, don't say that! You're giving me dark and disturbing thoughts now.**

 _ **You're really sick, you know that Padfoot?**_

And now I just realized what Padfoot meant. Thanks a lot, you sicko.

 **You're most graciously welcome, my dear Prongs.**

 ** _Padfoot, Prongs! I was never informed about your homosexuality! Goodness me, to have only noticed now!_**

 _I did always see them staring at each other during Charms._

 **Alas! Our forbidden love has been revealed! I'm sorry Prongs, I still love you!**

 ** _Prongs' face has turned quite red, I observe.  
_**

 **Is it because of me? I've always wanted a chance to be the cause of Prongs' redness and not EVANS all the time.  
**

 _ **Unfortunately, it is not you, Padfoot. Lily just winked at him in a very evil way and I think he's taking it as a romantic gesture of some sort. Sorry Padfoot, Lily beat it to you yet again.**_

 **Curses. Oh Merlin, Snivellus' face is red, but for a different reason, I think. Could it be... jealousy?  
**

 _ **Should be. You know how Severus likes Lily roman-**_

 **Well of course he likes her! They're friends!  
**

 _ **Well, I was gonna say romantically, but there's no point now, is there?**_

 **Not at all, Moony, not at all.  
**

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 **Hi! Big thanks to Danneyland for suggesting an idea that I will be using in the next chapter. Feel free to give me ideas! Until then, sayonara!**

 **Also, I'm looking for a beta reader, so, if you're interested just tell me!(or really, send me a review) :P**


	6. Thoughts Of Slughorn Checking Lily Out

**Greetings! It's MWPP here with another chapter. Sorry it took so long to write this chapter. *boos from the crowd; rotten fruit coming towards me* Just to warn you, don't depend on me too much, my uploading will be VERY inconsistent. I will try and upload at least once a week but in case I don't, please be patient; I'm a busy person. Now without any other distractions, the story.**

 **Disclaimer: However brilliant Harry Potter is, I deeply regret to tell you I do not own anything. All characters belong to the equally as brilliant J.K Rowling.**

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 **Oi Prongs. Prongs. Prongs.**

What?!

 **Look at what Slughorn's doing.**

Oh, I don't know, maybe STARING AT ME TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING?

 **Gosh, calm down, Prongs. What's got you all ruffled up?**

It's just the fact that I sent my dearest flower a brilliantly well thought of, handcrafted promotional poster of why she should go out with me for the assignment for Muggle Studies and she simply glanced at it, turned scarlet, and ripped it into half. JUST LIKE THAT!

 **Well, I'm not sure how to deal with this sort of sentimental stuff but Moony can. OI, MOONY! COME DO YOUR SENTIMENTAL JUNK TO PRONGS HERE!**

 _ **Alright, alright. By the way, it's called tact, not sentimental junk and it'll do you well to learn about it.**_

 **I don't care what it's called as long as you do something about it!  
**

Hello? Distraught teenager here!

 _ **Fine. Now tell me about your problem, Prongs.  
**_

Well, it's just like I said. Made promotional poster for Muggle Studies assignment, gave it to my dearest flower, and she ripped it in half, ripping my heart apart at the same time.

 ** _Oh, Prongs. Didn't you hear Mrs Merryweathers? She said promotional poster for goods, not girls._**

I thought you were supposed to make things better, not worse!

 ** _Right. So anyway, what did you write? It must have been really bad for her to rip it apart like that._**

I just wrote something like this: The 4 Marauders, the smart,

 _ **Nice of you!**_

Witty with amazing hair,

 **I'm so very flattered.  
**

Brilliantly talented,

 _Ooooh thanks!_

James Potter. And the other 3 Marauders.

 _ **WHAT!**_

 **I would be making outraged and scandalized noises right now if Professor Sluggy wasn't here. Which brings me to the real reason I even bothered to-  
**

 _ **I can't believe I fell for that!**_

Ah well. Now at least you know who's the real brains of the Marauders.

 **Wait, Voldemort's the brains of the Marauders? Prongs, any explanation?**

YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT BY THAT PADFOOT!

 _Prongs Alert! Prongs Alert! Padfoot, sound the alarm! WAIT, WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN LITERAL-_

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**_

 _'After you add the horned slugs and flobberworm mucus to your potion and stir counter-clockwise twice... Oh you're taking your notes down perfectly, Ms Evans, no need to worry! Sometimes I wish you were in my house...No? Ah well, I won't give up hope, dear. Where was I?' Professor Slughorn boomed in his extraordinarily loud voice. He was about to continue when a large siren, courtesy of Padfoot, appeared out of nowhere and started yelling PRONGS ALERT! PRONGS ALERT!_

 _For once in his life, Professor Slughorn was shocked silent. Sirius just stood there, looking extremely sheepish. After a few moments, Sirius said uncertainly, 'Fire drill?'. Some of of the students laughed just as uncertainly but most of them just stood there, still shocked. James sneaked a look at Lily and to his surprise, she_ was _smiling. Not in the I-feel-sorry-for-you kind of smile. A this-is-really-funny-and-I-am-straining-myself-trying-not-to-laugh kind of smile. Snape, however, was smirking smugly and had that infamous you-are-so-dead look on his face. It took a lot of self-control not to go up to Snape and hex him into oblivion. There was another round of painful silence until Slughorn stood up angrily._

 _Sirius gulped as Professor Slughorn's mouth opened slowly, no doubt to give him some horrible punishment, but to his and to everyone else's surprise, he threw back his head and started to laugh. After he wiped away his tears of laughter away he patted Sirius on the back, who was looking very stunned by this turn of events and bellowed, '5 points to Gryffindor!' The smirk slid down Snape's face like stinksap. 'Let's get back to work, shall we?'  
_

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 _ **That was really close. I can't believe Professor Sluggy let you off, Padfoot.**_

 **Which again, brings me to the subject I was trying to tell you just no-  
**

 _I know! That was really, really close.  
_

Yes, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm feeling depressed, right here, right now.

 _ **Right. Um, continue on with your... thing.**_

So I draw a picture of me and my dearest flower riding on a broomstick an-

 _ **Don't you mean my dearest flower and I?**_

What d'you mean _your_ dearest flower and you? Is there something going on between you and her? Well, IS THERE?

 _ **Woah, Prongs! Don't pull that over protective boyfriend act with me. Save it for when you actually get the girl. okay? I was just correcting a grammatically incorrect sentence.**_

Oh,fine. Where was I? Now, and I write her a poem that went like this: Your hair is red, your skin is smooth and white. If I stop hexing Snivelly, can you go out with me tonight?

 _ **Wow, that was actually a rhyming poem!**_

And then I drew a stag and a doe nuzzling together with hearts and doves everywhere and stars an-

 _ **Wow. Ok, I've heard enough. I would say you went too far with the hearts everywhere, but since I'm trying to comfort you, oh, it's not your fault! Who wouldn't feel hurt after all that business? My dear, dear, Prongs, I would recommend a box of Honeydukes' finest chocolates and some of those cheesy muggle romantic comedies to cheer you up. Maybe a trip to Hogsmeade could do it, just use the Marauders Map or something.**_

 _Uh, sorry to interrupt this sob session, Moony, but look at what ol' Sluggy's doing. It's like he's checking Lily out or something!  
_

 **That's what I was trying to write th-**

 ** _Urgh, that was a mental image I didn't need to imagine. Thank, Wormy.  
_**

EWWWW! Where? Where? The thought of Slughorn checking Lily out makes me so grossed out; I don't think I can be grossed in anymore.

 **Oh, I give UP!**

So this is just a dream right? When I wake up, Lily's going to love me like she usually does and Slughorn'll be out chasing after Snivellus and we'll all eat a cake full of rainbows and smiles and get along like we did in middle school.

 **So, Prongs, we'll just pop you into the hospital wing and just...**

No, no, no! I'm supposed to be awake by now! Padfoot, pinch me. Ow! Why did you have to pinch me so hard?

 **I dunno, why did YOU have to write down your feelings?**

 _BURN!_

 _ **He's got you there, Prongs...**_

Well, this is awkward.

 **Not as awkward as the thought of Slughorn checking out Evans, eh, Prongs?**

Shut up. Git.

 **Who, moi? Je suis trop brillante pour etre un git! Je suis offensé. Et je prends ça comme un défi personnel pour améliorer mes façons déjà brillants!**

 ** _Padfoot, we all know that you taught yourself French when you were young to offend your family when they talked about pureblooded stuff, but that doesn't mean we all know it._  
**

 **Actually, it sort of didn't work, insulting them in French. I'm pretty sure my bringer to the world(honestly Prongs, I've grown to adopt your mum as my mum and not that pureblooded maniac hag) knows French 'cause when I asked Regulus-Idiot to go burn in hell not too politely, she smacked me on the head and threatened to burn me off the family tree, which I'm pretty sure she's done already. Speaking of which, Prongs, can I crash at your place for the holidays again? My bringer into this world's still upset with me, especially after her precious sweetheart Reguluspoo got sorted in Slytherin. I think she probably burnt me off the family tree for being a blood traitor or something.  
**

Definitely! I'll tell my parents, they lurve having you around.

 **Thanks. You know, it's okay to say no, I really don't mind either way.  
**

It's cool. After all, whose holiday would be complete without everyone's favourite git around? We could play Quidditch in the field and stuff, maybe even go stalk Lily-flower too.

 **Brilliant!**

 _ **Uh, Prongs? How do you know where Lily lives?**_

 **Yeah, I wonder how...  
**

It's rather simple, Moony. Remember that time in third year when I went to talk to her at the end of term?

 _ **Ah, yes, how could I have forgotten. If I'm not mistaken, you couldn't sit straight for two weeks after that incident, right?**_

Three weeks, actually, but that's not my point. I actually placed a tracking charm on her and lifted it after I found out where she lived.

 _Well done Prongs!_

All in a day's work, Wormtail, all in a day's work.

 **No wonder you always seem to be busy outside every time I come over. Kind of creeps me out, to tell the truth.**

 _ **And no wonder Lily always tells me at the beginning of term that she feels like she's being watched every time she's home for the hols. And to think I actually thought Severus was the one who was watching her! Well, I prefer you watching her better than him.**_

 _I agree, but Prongs, isn't it a bit creepy to be stalking her every time she comes home for the hols?_

 **Well, it's not as creepy as the thought of Slughorn checking Evans out, huh?  
**

I swear, Padfoot, if you say that one more time, you're going to regret it.

 **Not as regretful as the thought of-**

SHUT UP!

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

 **Still, still, still, looking for a beta reader. No seriously (excuse the pun) I am in desperate need of a beta reader. Quick, someone help me! R &R? With lurve, MWPP.**

 **P.S. Did anyone spot the Mean Girls reference? It was pretty obvious, heh.**


	7. Evans WHAT!

**Hi! I have changed my username to MarauderHarryPotter because my old one (TheMarauders-MWPP) was kinda... old. I haven't been updating, but I have a reason for grandma was really, really sick and I had to take care of her in the hospital for a long time. Then, my grandpa got sick too (not from my grandma's germs, by the way) and he got admitted into the same hospital as my grandma.**

 **I made this chappie a little longer to make up for it, though. So things have been very hectic, and at the most, I get to write about 30 words a day. In fact, I am in a toilet right now, typing at a such a speed that I had to wrap fire proof bandages around my fingers in order not to get my fingers burnt by the sheer friction of my typing (just kidding). And because it's Christmas Day (in my country, that is) I decided to post it for the heck of it. And I'm STILL looking for a beta to correct my spelling mistakes. Bye!**

 **Padfoot- Sirius Black**

 _ **Moony- Remus Lupin**_

 _Wormtail- Peter Pettigrew the squealing traitor  
_

Prongs- James Potter

* * *

 **Wow, Prongs, I can't believe it! I actually, really, positively, amazingly, disbelievingly, epidemically, disturbingly, vaguely interestedly, insert more words that end with -ly here, believe it.**

I have no idea what you're talking about, Padfoot. Also, I'm pretty sure interestedly isn't a word, although I highly suspect you of, I dunno, going back in time and kidnapping the inventor of that dikshenary thingy Muggles use and forcing him to add it to the dikshenary. Moony, you do have a dikshenary, right?

 _ **I am not in the mood for passing notes right now, Prongs. I do enjoy theory DADA lessons, contrary to popular belief. And by the way, it's a dictionary and yes, I do have one, and I am NOT lending it to you.**_

Psh, you're not kidding anyone. We all know you can catch up if you want to. You're just paying attention cause you're in lurve with Mary Mcdonald.

 **Ooh, does little Moony has a little crushie? How gag-worthy, the bookworm falling for the girl who never as much as gave him a glance. Sounds a bit like like Prongs' love life, except for, you know, less bookworm more idiot.**

How dare you, you foul smelling little mongr-

 _ **I DO NOT LIKE HER! Good Merlin, not her! She's the one that's broken so many hearts she could have built another Hogwarts with all the pieces. AND no fashion sense either. Ms Sunanta's just talking about a subject that deeply concerns me, that's all. I wouldn't date MARY even for all the chocolate in Honeydukes, although the offer is rather tempting. Speaking of chocolate, Prongs, have you been stealing mine?  
**_

I have certainly not!

 _ **You have certainly too! I can smell the chocolate from here.**_

You lie, Moony.

 _ **Am not!**_

Am too!

 _ **Am not!**_

Am too!

 _ **Am too!**_

Am not!

 ** _Yes, I do agree with you, Prongs, I am not lying._**

Curses. Foiled again.

 **Oi, that's my catchphrase!**

No, you said that your catchphrase was 'I make things worse', remember Anti-Sirius Sundays? Huh? HUH?

 **I did not say that!**

Did too!

 **Did not!**

Di- wait, we're just gonna start it all again, right? Hold on, but I still have living proof. MOONY!

 _ **I have suddenly become blind and cannot see anything. Least of all Prongs' calls for witnesses.**_

Damn! Never mind, I still have WORMTAIL!

 **No can do. He's in the hospital wing from eating that strange looking thing on the toilet bowl, remember?**

Well then, I still have... Still have... DAMN!

 **HAHA! Padfoot wins again! Well anyway, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!**

Huh, what?

 **Did you really do it?**

Do what?

 **Get Evans' fork to recite a couple dozen love poems in mid-air, obviously. And the way it ended with 'Courtesy Of The Half-Blood Prince'? Brilliant! Evans' face was as red as her hair. And all the fireworks and confetti everywhere? And the way the fork tried to twist her hair around its tines- I'm not entirely sure-  
**

Wait, when did all this happen?

 **Oh, don't play dumb, we all knew it was you the moment we heard the first poem. Honestly, _'your eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad'?_**

JUST TELL ME WHEN DID ALL OF THIS HAPPEN?

 **Alright, fine, fine. Today at breakfast.**

But I was in the hospital wing then, remember? Quidditch practice yesterday? Bludger? Failed Sloth Grip Roll?

 **Which makes it even more of a impossible feat! I mean, who else would do it except you?  
**

 _ **Um, Padfoot? I think there could be a small possibility that it wasn't Pron-**_

But I honestly didn't do it! I mean, I'm not proud that I didn't do it, it's one of the greatest ideas I've heard in my life, but the fact still remains that I didn't do it!

 **Fine, I believe you. Besides, your handwriting leans slightly to the left when you lie.  
**

It does not!

 **Does too!**

D- URGH!

 _ **You know Prongs, I'm proud of you. You're the only person I know that can transfer non-verbal noises of frustration onto parchment.**_

Why thank you, Moony. However, THAT STILL DOESN'T SETTLE WHY SOME... SOME... SOME NO GOOD SCUMBUCKET HARBORS ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR MY FLOWER. DO THEY NOT KNOW SHE IS MINE?! HAVEN'T I MADE IT CLEAR?

 _ **Well... You can't really call her yours, Prongs, as you're not even on speaking terms with her. And no, I don't count the insults she throws you when you pass the corridors conversations.**_

 **Yeah Prongs, you have to claim your territory, mate! Growl at anyone who even looks her way! Except for the teachers, cause Minnie will probably put you in detention for 'trying to flirt with a professor'. Challenge people who try to take her away from you with death matches! Pee on her if you have to, for Godric's sake!  
**

WHAT?!

 _ **Padfoot, that is disgusting. Have you had your shots yet? Bad doggy. But seriously, Prongs, you gotta get her attention for a long span of time. And not with insulting her or anything like that. You have to be nicer to her. Do little things to show her you care. And for goodness sake, don't try and snog her at any chance you get! She'll hate you for the rest of your life!  
**_

 **Don't listen to the prude! Listen to me, I give out the best advice. Next time you see her, just snog her senseless. Girls lurve that sort of thing. Or else do some stupidly heroic thing that will put you in the Hospital Wing and make her fall for you. That's what I do and it works all the time. And also, I've had all my shots, thank you very much.  
**

 _ **DON'T TAKE HIS ADVICE, PRONGS! DON'T DO IT!  
**_

 **Take it Prongs. TAKE IT!  
**

 ** _Oh wait... Prongs is ogling Lily's bum again._**

 **Again? Ah well...  
**

 _ **So what do you wanna do?**_

 **Let's write down a million reasons why Prongs should give up on Flower. Then we can GIVE it to him. It'll unnerve the hell out of him and we can watch him flip out.  
**

 _ **I dunno, should we do this?**_

 **Yeah, why not?**

 _ **Well, I don't think we can write a million reasons.**_

 **We can do anything.  
**

 _ **What gives you that impression?**_

 **Cause we're Marauders. Now, you start.  
**

 _ **Fine. 1. Because, I dunno, she hates him.**_

 **Curses, I was gonna say that. 2. Flower's already being eyed on by the whole male population of Hogwarts. Even I have to say, she's pretty cute. She can date anyone she fancies with ease and Prongs is NOT even near that list. Therefore she'll probably go get married to some bloke and leave James there all brokenhearted and depressed.  
**

 _ **Too bad, Paddy Boy.. She's the complete opposite of Prongs. She's a bookworm and an introvert and he's... He's a Marauder.**_

 **Well said, well said. 4. Flower's probably told her parents all about Prongsiepoo. So even if they end up together, her father, being the loving, protective father he is, will probably get a blunt knife and repeatedly stab him multiple times until he dies. DIE _S.  
_**

 ** _You do know you put repeatedly and multiple times in one sentence? 5. Prongs keeps chunks of Lily's hair and her empty candy wrappers under his pillow. And SLEEPS with them. If that isn't creepy I don't know what is. Lily's bad for his mental health. And his physical health too, you know he tried Avada Kedavra himself after that whole 'I hate Potter' thing.  
_**

 **I just felt the need to illustrate my point, Moony. 6. If they do start dating, think about their new combined name. Lames. LAMES.  
**

 _ **You don't have to overkill the sentence (literally and figuratively) to illustrate your point, you idiotic dog, you. But the Lames one was a funny reason, if anything. 7. Prongs has spent approximately two hundred thousand Galleons on Lily to buy her gifts, which she has never accepted. Who knows how many Galleons he'll waste going on like this?  
**_

 **Yeah, yeah. Bloody Grammar Nazi werewolf. 8. I'm more sexy than him.  
**

 _ **How is that considered a reason? The LEGITIMATE 8. Prongs has, on average, spent 65% of his time at Hogwarts trying to woo Lily, 15% stuffing his face with food as a way of 'recovering' after she rejects him, 17% of his time playing Quidditch and marauding in order to try and impress Lily, 2% of his time boasting about his accomplishments in order to try and impress Lily again and 1% of his time doing academic work. Think about all the free time he'll have if he could just set his eyes on other girls. Or boys, if he swings that way.  
**_

 **Sheesh, Moony. 10. The a- Wait. What did you write?  
**

 _ **You mean the swings that way statement? I'm not being homophobic or anything. In fact, I'd be really happy that he finally came out of the broom closet and-**_

 **No, no, no. The 17% Marauding to impress Evans one. Are you implying that EVANS was the reason we got together first place?**

 _ **Hmmm, never thought about it that way. Yes, I suppose. And please don't use the term 'get together'. It's sounds very weird, not to mention gay.  
**_

 **And here was I thinking you were against** **homophobic people. But still, REALLY? Evans?!  
**

 _ **Yes, Lily. Everyone knows that, give or take a few... details. You should know these kind of things, he's your best mate! Shame on you! You have brought dishonor to the Marauders!**_

 **Alright, alright, I know, I'm thick sometimes, okay?  
**

 _ **Yeah, really thick.**_

 **So, basically Evans indirectly formed the Marauders? Like some sort of Muggle sponsor?  
**

 _ **Not exactly a sponsor, but yes.**_

 **Oh, wow.** **I still can't get over the fact that EVANS actually did that. Really ironic, if you think about it.  
**

 _ **It was pretty obvious actually. I mean, every time Lily scoffed and turned away at one of his 'hexing Slytherins' pranks, he would try and do something really extravagant. Like covering the Great Hall in lilies.**_

 **True.**

 _ **Should we get back to the list?**_

 **Nah, bored of it.**

 _ **See, I told you we couldn't do a million rea-**_

 **You wanna try and distract him from dear, dear Flower?  
**

 _ **Maybe. I think we could just write in really big capital letters LILY LIKES YOU PRONGS, again, but that's not going to work anymore, right?  
**_

 **Not when he's staring her bum, that is.  
**

 _ **Why don't you do this by yourself? I want to continue taking ACADEMIC notes.**_

 **Alright, alright.  
**

 **So let's see here...**

 _ **To be continued**_

* * *

 **So what did you think? Again, so sorry about the delay. I also had the deadly Writer's Block, so yeah. Let's try and get this up to 13 reviews. Am I asking too much? It can be a flame, but as long it contains tips on how to improve my writing I'll cherish it. Although I'd rather it be a proper review and not a flame.**

* * *

 **New Author Note  
**

 **Guys, I have gotten NO reviews for this chapter. Do you guys think I should quit this? I mean, no one seems to be reviewing anymore so...Oh wait, you know what? I won't update until I get 15 reviews. So get to reviewing!  
**


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